God – Page 2 – Ericka O Smith

A Time to Trust

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move;
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through;
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You –
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!”

Trust In You by Lauren Daigle

Oh my. This song has reverberated through my mind several times a day, every day, for several weeks now. I relate too-readily with the sentiment in the chorus. My heart is too ready to wallow in the feeling of God’s abandonment when anything is too tough or too long or too unpleasant or too uncomfortable.

Do I trust in Him when He doesn’t move the mountain in front of me? When He holds out His hand, offering instead to walk with me over the mountain, guiding me, helping me, do I eagerly take it or do I cross my arms and walk off in a huff, agitated and resentful?

Do I trust Him when He doesn’t part the waters I wish I could walk through? When His wisdom dictates a more difficult or seemingly perilous route, do I drop to my knees – not in worship, but in a tantrum of two-year-old proportions?

Do I trust Him when He doesn’t give me the answers as I cry out to Him? When He lovingly answers instead, “wait,” do I accept that as an answer or rebel against His not performing on cue?

Because that’s what is at the heart of this ongoing issue of trust I continually struggle with – believing He knows best when it conflicts with what I think I know is best. Trusting His plan when it doesn’t match mine. Surrendering to His will instead of arrogantly clinging to my own.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

PONDER: What mountains or waters or questions are you facing right now about which God is asking you to walk with Him in trust?

Camping & the Apocalypse

I am a fan of the apocalyptic genre. I don’t read or watch it exclusively, but this has been a summer of reading and watching rather a lot of it. Need proof? Over these short summer months, I have binge-watched The Last Ship, Containment, Survivors, Fringe, 12 Monkeys, Primeval: New World, and Zoo. I recently began reading Station Eleven since one of my friends suggested it based on my like of the aforementioned binged show Survivors. And if that isn’t enough to convince you, our family read-aloud has been Battlefield Earth, a quasi post-apocalyptic gem. Needless to say, it’s been a rough summer of near-annihilation for the human race all within the confines of my own head!

I share this about myself to help you understand my doomsday mindset while we were recently on our annual Labor Day Weekend Campout with our youngest kids in the breathtaking panhandle canyons of northwest Texas.

This naturally made crevice in the rock was much explored by the other members of my family during our recent visit to Palo Duro Canyons State Park. Climbing to, in, through, and on it was a highlight of our trip! — This naturally made crevice in the rock was much explored during our recent visit to Palo Duro Canyons State Park. Climbing to, in, through, and on it was a highlight of our trip!

I ventured about this close to it. My cowardice won and I stayed behind while the family explored the nooks and crannies with other brave hikers that day. — The family explored the nooks and crannies of this magnificent fortress in the cliffs.

Simon and the kids couldn't resist climbing down into a ravine and then through this natural "tunnel" under our hiking trail. If you look closely, you can see Simon's head in the center for scale. — Simon and the kids couldn’t resist climbing down into a ravine and then through this natural “tunnel” under our hiking trail. If you look closely, you can see Simon’s head in the center for scale. While they were exploring, they talked about making a Western in which the hero used a place such as this as his hideout.

With a mixture of both imagined images (due to my favored genre of late) and real images (due to my current locale) floating through my mind, I was primed with a mental slideshow as I read these Words early one morning –

“Enter into the rock
and hide in the dust
from before the terror of the Lord,
and from the splendor of his majesty.” Is 2:10

“And people shall enter the caves of the rocks
    and the holes of the ground,^[b]
from before the terror of the Lord,
    and from the splendor of his majesty,
    when he rises to terrify the earth.” Is 2:19

“to enter the caverns of the rocks
    and the clefts of the cliffs,
from before the terror of the Lord,
    and from the splendor of his majesty,
    when he rises to terrify the earth.” Is 2:21

As you can imagine, these words & images reverberated through my apocalyptic mind all day long as we hiked and explored the caverns! Later, I went back and reread Isaiah 2, which I admit was rather discouraging the first time through, and that time God illuminated the {more encouraging} beginning of the chapter –

“and many peoples shall come, and say:   ‘Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
    to the house of the God of Jacob,
that he may teach us his ways
    and that we may walk in his paths.’ ” Is 2:3

Where am I going with this? Too many times I stumble on the negative. My mind dwells on the half-empty glass. I focus on the fears. I cry out in despair when the Lord doesn’t move the mountains I want Him to move or part the waters I wish I could walk through. And yet, His purpose for me isn’t to make my journey easy or smooth, but worth the effort, worth the struggle. As I go to Him each time I face a mountain or have to cross a sea, He teaches me more of His ways and I learn to walk in His paths.

What about you? What obstacles is the Lord eagerly waiting to teach you His ways as you walk His path with Him?

Smith Family Camp Out – September 2016

As one friend commented, "you have good knights - in shorts!" And we did! Simon and Jesse set up our camp perfectly while Chloe & I reclined in the tent on air mattresses. — As one friend commented, “you have good knights – in shorts!” And we did! Simon and Jesse set up our camp perfectly while Chloe & I reclined in the tent on air mattresses.

Our sweet home away from home for 5 glorious days at Caprock Canyons State Park. Chloe and I sold everything we could get our hands on from the garage to buy a big 3-room tent and two oscillating fans. It was worth it!

Sunrise and sunset were my favorite times of day...so beautiful. So peaceful. What an awesome experience to walk with God in His beautiful creation during these times of the day. — Sunrise and sunset were my favorite times of day…so beautiful. So peaceful. What an awesome experience to walk with God in His beautiful creation during these times of the day.

After setting up camp, Jesse walked down to Lake Theo and began catching (and releasing) these little guys. He is an angler to the core.

(deep, contented sigh...muscles relaxing...soaking in God's presence) — (deep, contented sigh…muscles relaxing…soaking in God’s presence)

I looked up from my Bible to this sweet sight - my boy on the lake, early morning, fishing in his kayak that he saved and bought off Craigslist. — I looked up from my Bible to this sweet sight – my boy on the lake, early morning, fishing in his kayak that he saved and bought off Craigslist.

I discovered how to use the panorama feature on my iPhone this trip. LOVE this feature! This is a panorama of our campsite. It is the most private, spacious campsite we’ve ever had! Seemed like we were the only ones around!

Raccoon (whom we named "Oscar" because of his location) stuck in the dump, so he decided to take a nap. Someone put a log in there for him to climb out on and he was gone by evening. — Raccoon (whom we named “Oscar” because of his location) stuck in the dump, so he decided to take a nap. Someone put a log in there for him to climb out on and he was gone by evening.

Saturday - Palo Duro Canyons State Park was breathtaking! It is the second largest canyon in the U.S. We explored it's nooks and crannies all day. — Saturday – Palo Duro Canyons State Park was breathtaking! It is the second largest canyon in the U.S. We explored it’s nooks and crannies all day.

Spent a LONG time here, hiking in/out/over that cave.

Great memory-making day exploring God's magnificent creation. — Great memory-making day exploring God’s magnificent creation.

It was mesmerizing watching Jesse fish with his net for bait fish. I took wayyyyyy too many photos for a sane person, but come on...it's poetry in motion. — It was mesmerizing watching Jesse fish with his net for bait fish. I took wayyyyyy too many photos for a sane person, but come on…it’s poetry in motion.

Spent the day at Copper Breaks State Park. Unanimously, we do not recommend this park. This shot reminds me of Huck Finn, so I thought I'd share it. — Spent the day at Copper Breaks State Park. Unanimously, we do not recommend this park. This shot reminds me of Huck Finn, so I thought I’d share it.

On our way out, we did enjoy some time with some longhorns the park keeps.

The second of MANY upclose and personal encounters with the bison herd back at Caprock Canyons State Park. This pic is taken through the open door of our Suburban. He's not even a really big one, either! — The second of MANY up close and personal encounters with the bison herd back at Caprock Canyons State Park. This pic is taken through the open door of our Suburban. He’s not even a really big one, either!

Ribs and salad kind of night...yum! — Ribs and salad kind of night…yum!

Another early morning on the lake with Jesse as he enjoys his favorite past time.

As our vacation progressed, our interactions became closer and closer with the resident bison herd. They were around every corner, literally.

This was the day we explored every nook and cranny we could at Caprock Canyons State Park. I cannot state clearly enough how you should visit this gem of a state park. It is beautiful. It is clean. The weather is COOL, believe it or not. The campsites are PRIVATE and it is hands-down our favorite campground to date.

Fun with panorama selfies! Can you see all of us?

This is right before we discovered Cedar Flies...and their tenacity...and the fact that they bite...hard. This is the canyon behind our camp site. — This is right before we discovered Cedar Flies…and their tenacity…and the fact that they bite…hard. This is the canyon behind our camp site.

LOVE this shot of the three of them watching the bird flying high above the canyon.

Simon and Jesse heading out on a 2 mile trail. Chloe and I picked them up on the opposite side.

This is what Chloe and I did while the guys were hiking... — This is what Chloe and I did while the guys were hiking…

...and they are back! — …and they are back!

The photos just don't convey the vastness, the depth, the beauty of Caprock Canyons SP. — The photos just don’t convey the vastness, the depth, the beauty of Caprock Canyons SP.

The guys loved the 2-mile trail so much they took us back on it. We discovered a great natural bridge/tunnel. Obviously, it needed to be explored.

img_5305-1

Sunsets were a daily ritual for us and so breathtaking.

Last night - (decaf) coffee before bed for this modern-day knight of mine. — Last night – (decaf) coffee before bed for this modern-day knight of mine.

En route home, we stopped at a fourth state park (gotta love those state park passes, right?).

The guys fished while Chloe and I played Rummy and Whist in the Suburban. This place boasts a prairie dog town, but Simon said it was more like an infestation. We all agreed.

Brave. Boy. I shudder to imagine how many snakes are in there with Jesse, but he's a wild-at-heart kind of manling like his dad, so... — Brave. Boy. I shudder to imagine how many snakes are in there with Jesse, but he’s a wild-at-heart kind of manling like his dad, so…

Bonus - Jesse asked if he could make dinner when we got back, so he used stuff on hand (plus some kale I went to buy) and made this ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS SOUP from scratch! It's his own creation, people. He's 16! — Bonus – Jesse asked if he could make dinner when we got back, so he used stuff on hand (plus some kale I went to buy) and made this ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS SOUP from scratch! It’s his own creation, people. He’s 16!

An Issue of Trust

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. – Proverbs 19:21

I’m a planner. I delight in planning memory-making times for others. Upcoming big events, family vacations, get-togethers, parties – just the mere thought of getting to plan, to control these special times from start to finish, truly floats my boat. I’m also a planner of another kind – constantly planning scenarios and running through possibilities in preparation for a time when life will take an unexpected left turn. If I have already run through the scenario, it can’t catch me unawares when it comes to pass, I think. I have already thought through all the possibilities. In essence, I shoo Jesus off the throne of my life while I try to order things according to my plans, which indicates a lack of trust in the only One that truly has control. It’s a self-preservation way of thinking that stems from my lack of wholehearted trust in God.

PONDER: What circumstances are you facing in which you struggle between truly trusting God and attempting to control the situation? Are you ready to trust Him wholeheartedly?

PRAYER: Father, I confess the tendency in my heart to want to rule myself, to take control and run things according to my own understanding. This is, at its core, an issue of trust. Please forgive my lack of trust and help me in my situation to fully trust You to lead me, to direct my path.

Meet Esther

"Esther" by John Everett Millais — “Esther” by English Painter/Illustrator John Everett Millais, 1865

I first met Esther as a kid. At my church, she was always talked up to us girls, heralded as a real role model. And why not? Esther was a woman of remarkable beauty and she had the brains to match. I looked up to her throughout my childhood. Unfortunately, as the years of my childhood faded, so did our acquaintance.

I decided to reconnect with Esther last summer, initiating some one-on-one time with my childhood hero. I was encouraged by this {still} beautiful and remarkably faithful woman of God. I think the three areas that Esther encouraged me most to grow in were:

Social Grace – I find it terribly hard to deal in awkward social situations and Esther is savvy in a way I aspire to be. She is not conniving, but understands that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Fear Factor – I suffer from a plethora of fears, but none so great as what Esther and her people faced from evil Haman. Esther taught me to walk forward even though I am afraid; to walk one step at a time, trusting God with the outcome.

Prayerful Processing – I am a “doer” personality. Often this translates to moving forward before prayerfully processing situations. Esther, on the other hand, turned to God in prayer and fasting for three days before moving forward regarding Haman’s evil scheme.

Esther is looking forward to getting together with you this week. She has a wealth of wisdom & insight to share with you, too. Click here to meet my friend and personal hero, Esther.

Meet Hannah

Wilhelm Wachtel's "Hannah at Prayer" — Wilhelm Wachtel’s “Hannah at Prayer”

I met Hannah’s son, Samuel, several times at church when I was young. Like all the other boys and girls, I was more interested in the kids like me than I was in their parents. Because of that, I never paid much attention to Moms before I became one myself.

Hannah and I got together several times last summer and I got to know her less as “Sam’s mom” and more as a kindred spirit. I was genuinely surprised to learn that we shared so much in common! God has given us both three sons and two daughters. We both raised one child fewer than we birthed, those children no longer in our household from the tender ages of 2 or 3 years. We both have attentive and devoted husbands who love us deeply and desire our lives lived with them to be happy. We’ve both experienced heart-deep sorrow that can only be (partially) purged through tears and crying out to God. We both have transparent faces. Our hearts are displayed in our countenances.

I learned so much from Hannah as we spent that time together. The two things that stick out most are the differences in our responses to heartache and acceptance of God’s timing in response to our prayers. Hannah’s heartache drove her to her knees, to the Lord in prayer, whereas my own usually takes the scenic route to God, preferring to drive by a person “with skin on” on my way to Him. I was encouraged by her example to cry out to Him first. Hannah is also the most persistently prayerful person I know. Her persistence in prayer (even in the midst of what appears to be unanswered prayer, even though His answer took years to become sight) encourages me when I don’t yet see His fingerprints in answer to my own long-prayed prayers and am tempted to give up.

I invite you to get to know Hannah this week for yourself. She’ll rub off on you, in the best way. Click here to meet Hannah.

Meet Deborah

"Deborah Judge of Israel" by Dina Cormick is one in a series of Heroic Women in the Scriptures. You can see the collection here. — “Deborah Judge of Israel” by Dina Cormick is one in a series of Heroic Women in the Scriptures. You can see the collection here.

I was briefly introduced to Deborah when I was a child. I bumped into her again in college a couple of times. All I remember from those encounters is that she was larger than life.

I decided to connect with her again last summer – and I’m so glad I did! I sat captivated by her testimony as she shared her story with me daily for almost an entire week. I was awed by her military prowess. I was impressed by her devotion to God’s agenda even above her own. I was encouraged by her example of unwavering trust in God’s power to keep His Word. I was convicted by her utter surrender to God’s will and her consistent obedience to it. In short, I felt empowered in the presence of this assertive, working woman – a discerning and godly leader that even mighty men would willingly follow.

I would love to introduce you this week to my new friend & mentor, Deborah.

Drawing Near

I feel closest to God when my life is a catastrophe. While I long for more peaceful times during a crisis, for an immediate end to the struggle, I yearn to experience God’s close, caring presence that seems nearest to me during a catastrophe. It’s like a spiritual Catch-22. It doesn’t seem I can have the nearness without the catastrophe.

James begs to differ.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. – James 4:8a

“This isn’t a God-thing. This is a human-thing,” James says.

Miss Dorothy Levitt, first British race car driver, comfortably behind the wheel in the early 1900's. — Miss Dorothy Levitt, first woman British race car driver, comfortably behind the wheel in the early 1900’s.

When life is easy, I take the driver’s seat. I’m as happy is Dorothy Levitt (pictured above) behind the wheel. Before long, however, I get distracted. At best, I veer off the narrow road. At worst, I crash. Severed steering wheel in hand, I stagger back into His presence, dazed and confused. I draw near to Him more like an accident victim seeking a medic than a child drawn to her loving Father.

With James’ perspective, I can see that it isn’t the catastrophe that brings God’s Presence to me. The catastrophe brings me back into God’s Presence.

PONDER: When do you feel closest to God? What changes would allow you to experience that closeness all of the time?

PRAYER: Father, please forgive me for taking the driver’s seat in my life. I want to give You back Your rightful place behind the wheel. I want to snuggle up next to you on the front seat. Help me to learn to draw near to Your Presence more often in the peaceful times during my journey of life.

Reluctant Learning

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. – Colossians 3:12

I have intentionally seldom prayed for patience. Additionally, I have been known to chastise people who have voiced a prayer in which they asked God for patience on my behalf. (Why would I pray for something that I know is gained only through opportunities to practice the thing I am lacking?!)

Cultivating patience also involves waiting and I want immediate results (instant gratification). Thankfully, God gives us what we need, not merely what we think we want.

Over the past twenty five years, in the midst of

cleaning up spills – again
sleepness nights – again
answering what’s for dinner for the third time since lunch – again
calling poison control – again
waiting in the ER with an adventuresome (or accident-prone) child – again
teaching little ones how to read – again
teaching high school Algebra – again
reading through the same books aloud – again
training new chores – again

God has given me daily opportunities to develop the very thing I’d been intentionally avoiding. He developed patience in me stealthily over the long haul of raising the next generation.

Norwegian Christian Krohg's "Sleeping Mother with Child," c. 1883 — Norwegian Christian Krohg’s “Sleeping Mother with Child,” c. 1883

Patience, it turns out, is worth the years of practice it takes to cultivate it.

PONDER: Which of the qualities listed in Colossians does God most desire to develop in you? List the opportunities He has granted you to do just that…and thank Him for them.

PRAY: Father, I thank You for faithfully providing me with opportunities to grow. I want to be like Jesus, yet I am so reluctant to learn in some areas of my life. Thank You for being patient with me and that Your work in my heart includes the areas in which I am most resistant. Please continue to bring about in me the good work that you have begun.

Forgiving One Another

Jane Eyre quote

Charlotte Bronte penned this inspiring line in my all-time favorite novel, Jane Eyre. I think about this quote often. I aspire for this quote to be fleshed out in my life like it was in Jane’s. The truth of the matter is that this is a constant internal struggle for me. My heart tends to hold on to the hurts inflicted on me, either intentionally or unintentionally, from others. I quickly cry out against others when they are too harsh, too judgmental, or too hypocritical.

When I am the offender, however, I just as quickly excuse my own wrong behavior by saying, “God isn’t finished with me yet.” The inference is that I am a work in progress; I deserve forgiveness because I’m still learning.

I think that tendency is what God had in mind when He penned (through Paul) –

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ forgave you. -Ephesians 4:32

Just as God through Christ forgave you. The times in which my life has most successfully mirrored Jane Eyre’s words have been those times in which I have remembered that my offender, too, is a work in progress. God isn’t finished with them yet, either. And by offering the same grace that I expect, I am learning how to forgive, just as God through Christ forgave me.

PONDER: Is there someone in your life against whom you are nursing animosity? Are you mentally keeping a register of the wrongs committed against you? Let’s wipe the slate clean today and choose to walk with them in forgiveness, just as God through Christ forgave you.

Forgiving One Another is one of thirty devotionals I’ve written as part of a friend’s devotional project. You can read more short devotionals like this by clicking here or the Devotionals tab at the top of this page.