heart – Ericka O Smith

Purpose in the Pain

“Joseph Arrives in Egypt” (c. 1869) by artist Owen Jones

Can you relate?

Joseph seemed to struggle with feelings of bitterness (anger, too?) toward his brothers for the way they treated him in his youth. And why not? Their behavior was nothing short of abysmal! To be honest, I can easily relate to Joseph’s struggle with his emotional response, his desire to “keep it together” in front of those who mistreated him – even years and years after the fact. And to add insult to injury, they were Joseph’s own family!

Let’s back up.

Joseph’s life began pretty cushy. Dear ol’ dad loved him most. Everyone knew it. He gave him a showy coat. He trusted him as his go-between with his other sons. Even Joseph’s unconsciousness seemed to bless him with dreams of greatness. What happened? His brothers sold his blessed life for a few coins just to be rid of him.

Skip ahead in Joseph’s biography. He’s now a slave in a well-respected Egyptian’s home. He’s kind of a big deal in the man’s house, a position he undoubtedly both deserved and earned. He was living large, for a slave. What happened? The guy’s wife began making eye babies at him and eventually lied about Joseph making a pass at her. And our guy Joe, who had done no wrong, had to exchange slavery for imprisonment.

Fast-forward to Joseph’s life in prison. Eventually even his jailers saw his integrity and rewarded him with elevated status, though he remained imprisoned. By and by, he did a couple of fellow prisoners a solid by interpreting their dreams and all he asked in return was to be remembered when they left the slammer. What happened? Absolutely nothing. He was forgotten.

Time passes. Cue Egypt’s #1 being plagued by dreams even his most trusted advisors couldn’t interpret. What to do? Only then did Joseph’s cup-bearing friend finally have a light bulb moment and remember the one whom he so quickly forgot.

The skinny of it is this.

Joseph so impressed the Pharaoh that he was released, elevated to 2nd in the land and basically not only saved all of Egypt from the ensuing famine, but “as fate would have it,” also his own family.

Speaking of which, those brothers who so altered Joseph’s pleasant life all those years ago – the brothers responsible for his slavery, the brothers whose actions led to his imprisonment – yeah, they showed up on his doorstep in need of a favor. They were starving because of the famine and needed help. They didn’t recognize their brother, but their brother sure did recognize them. And the emotion of all of his years of slavery and imprisonment seemed to wash over him when he stood face-to-face with them. He wasn’t sure what he felt toward his brothers and continued to struggle with his emotional reaction to them after so many years after their hurting him until he realized

“…it was not you who sent me here, but God.” Gen. 45:8

It seems at that very moment the Tetris pieces fell into place in Joseph’s heart. He realized that it wasn’t his brothers after all who had sent him to Egypt so many years earlier when they exchanged his freedom for slavery, pocketing the coins. In His sovereignty, God had orchestrated it all

“…for God sent me ahead of you to preserve life!” Gen. 45:5

Ponder this.

Joseph wasn’t delivered from the prison of his own bitterness until he realized every event, every wrong done toward him was a part of his sovereign God’s plan for him. And God’s plan was bigger than Joseph’s feelings or comfort level or preference in the matter. When he shifted his perspective from horizontal to vertical – when he quit glancing to and fro at the hurt inflicted upon him by his brothers and instead focused his gaze on God – that was the moment he was truly set free.

“The Messiah has set us free so that we may enjoy the benefits of freedom. So keep on standing firm in it, and stop putting yourselves under the yoke of slavery again.” Gal. 5:1

Are you in a prison of your own bitterness toward someone who has hurt you? Perhaps a family member, coworker, neighbor or longtime friend has wounded you? What do you feel the Lord saying to you today in light of Joseph’s life?

I’m embracing feedback this year, so please leave yours in the comments – the good, the bad, the indifferent. I want to hear from you!

Meet Mary Magdalene

"Mary Magdalene," stained glass from St. Kilian’s Church in Sülzbach, Germany (Photo by Peter Schmelzle) — “Mary Magdalene,” stained glass from St. Kilian’s Church in Sülzbach, Germany
(Photo by Peter Schmelzle)

I’m just going to go ahead and admit that I’ve never given Mary Magdalene a second thought. If I met her as a kid, I don’t remember it. If we were introduced sometime in college, I’ve forgotten. The truth is that, for me, Mary Magdalene always got lost amid the throng of other Marys in the Bible.

Recently that all changed and I confess that I’m glad I took the time to get to know her more personally. I found Mary Magdalene to be someone perfectly content to live in the background, serving in the shadows of the spotlights cast by her friends. (Truthfully, this is the first thing we connected over as I feel most comfortable serving behind-the-scenes, as well.) As Mary shared her story with me, I perceived a deep level of loyalty to those she called friend – a trait I value highly in my own friends. By the end of our week together, we wept with one another over the loss of loved ones that were so dear to our hearts that it felt like just breathing was an effort. We connected over the intense need we felt to do something for those we’d lost in the wake of their deaths.

Truthfully, I feel I have found a real gem of a friend in Mary Magdalene, a real kindred spirit and soul sister.

And I invite you to get to know her, as well.

Taste & See

O taste and see that the Lord is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! – Psalm 34:8

At the beginning of our adventure in home schooling, we took a dip into the homeschool community by attending a potluck dinner for families interested in joining a particular home school group. Wanting our elementary-aged kids to exercise their social muscles, we sent them ahead of us to go through the line while we found a table and got the little ones settled. When our son made his way to our table, he had an entire to-go box of fried rice in his hands and a smile on his face. I asked him what he could possibly have been thinking in taking the entire dish for himself. He replied, “I’m hungry.”

I look back on this story now with a smile on my face instead of the embarrassment I felt in the moment. I question my choices when I feel spiritual hunger. In his hunger, my son went straight for the good stuff, unashamedly taking what was offered at the table, and he found satisfaction.

PONDER: Do I approach my quiet time like my son approached that potluck? What is keeping me from bellying up to God’s table, fork in hand, to feast on His Word today?

PRAYER: Father, I want to take refuge in You in the busy-ness of my days. So many things are vying for my attention. Help me to be ambitious when I open my Bible, ready to feast on Your Word every day. My heart desires to taste and see that you are good today.

Thoughts on Practicing {Biblical} Hospitality from…

Guest post by Andrea Young. You can connect with Andrea on Instagram.

hos·pi·tal·i·ty

häspəˈtalədē

noun

The friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers. (google.com)

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. (Hebrews 13:2, ESV)

A more direct translation of Hebrews 13:2 is, “Of hospitality be not forgetful, through this indeed unawares some have entertained angels.” That word – hospitality – is translated from the Greek philoxenia. According to Dr. Mike Burer, “It’s a compound word which combines the noun for friend (philos) and a noun which could mean either hospitality or stranger/alien (xenia). Put them together and you get the idea: either treating a stranger like a friend, or providing hospitality to a friend.”

Based on the rest of the verse, this is the idea the author of Hebrews was instructing his audience of late 1st century Christians: Treat strangers like friends. In the context of the late 1st century, this probably meant inviting traveling strangers into your home to eat and sleep. I would be unlikely to invite complete strangers into my home to stay. It’s a condition of the times. So how can a modern Christian live out this exhortation?

When I see my friends, I greet them warmly. I want them to know I am happy to see them! I ask them about their lives, and I listen with interest. And I often do invite them into my home – frequently to eat, and occasionally to sleep. I cheerfully take on the house-cleaning and food preparation that signals to my guests: I am glad you are here! I want you to feel happy and comfortable. I want you to stay as long as you’d like. I am sensitive to your needs and will do what I can to accommodate you.

I do not often extend this to strangers with which I have occasion to interact. My introverted nature is on high alert in the presence of strangers, and it takes an extreme amount of energy to break through that self-imposed barrier to treat strangers as friends, especially when the interpersonal stakes and potential for rejection are high. Too often, I think to myself, “Someone more extroverted and well-spoken will greet that new person at church”, or, “That person probably doesn’t want to talk to me anyway,” or frequently, “Rather than get stuck in a conversation consisting of mind-numbing small talk with someone I don’t know, I’ll just sit here and look at my phone like I’ve got something terribly important to do….”

When Ericka asked me to write my thoughts on hospitality, I was planning on writing my thoughts on how to be a good hostess, and although related to hospitality, being a good hostess does not necessarily make one hospitable. For those friends I do invite into my home, I manage quite well as a hostess. I find it enjoyable – the planning, the preparation, the eating and drinking and the merry-making. It fills up my heart to make other people happy with food and conversation. But am I extending this to those who I do not (yet) call my friends? To strangers and newcomers? Or do I hide behind my sinful nature, afraid of rejection or unpleasant entanglement?

As with all other virtues, I will never perform this perfectly. I will practice hospitality. I would like to be a more hospitable person to strangers. How wonderful it is when you are the stranger, and someone makes you feel warmly welcomed! It is such a spirit-lifting experience to make a connection with a stranger who smiles at you, talks to you, asks you about yourself and seems interested in listening to you. It can transform your day, and in some cases it can transform your life. What barriers do I need to knock down in order to approach others that way? You never know who they might be, or what impact you might have.

Step 1: Smile more often.

Help for the Hurting Heart

Because of what I shared here on Monday, I wanted to follow up with some encouragement for those who are currently experiencing brokenness and are “feeling the feels” today. Know this – God loves you and there is help to be found in Him.

Please feel free to share and print this graphic.

Books for the Brokenhearted

My desk during the Lenten season - a depository of books on brokenness. — My desk during the Lenten season – a depository of books on brokenness and trusting God.

If you’re in a season of Crying Out to God, here are some tried-and-true resources to encourage your heart & help you gain perspective in the trenches. Perhaps they can help you, too, to learn to praise God even as you cry out. (Click on the book covers to read more about each title at Amazon.com – affiliate links.)

This continues to be the most meaningful book I've read on the topic of brokenness. — **The Blessings of Brokenness** continues to be the most meaningful book I’ve read on the topic of brokenness, and for that reason, if you only read one book on the topic, pick this one.

Since The Blessings of Brokenness touched my heart in such a special way, I wanted to ready more from Dr. Stanley. For that reason, this gem is my current read through Lent. — Since **The Blessings of Brokenness** touched my heart in such a special way, I wanted to read more from Dr. Stanley. For that reason, this gem is my current read through Lent.

This was the first book I ever read on the topic of trusting God with our hurts - 25 years ago! - and it's as applicable today as it was then. Highly recommend if, like me, you struggle with the issue of wholehearted trust. — This was the first book I ever read on the topic of trusting God with our hurts – 25 years ago! – and it’s as applicable today as it was then. Highly recommend if, like me, you struggle with the issue of wholehearted trust.

A must-have companion to Trusting God (Even When Life Hurts). Trust me. You won't regret getting the study guide with its stellar prompts, additional Scripture, action items and more. I still have mine all these years later. It's pages are where the rubber met the road for me. — A must-have companion to **Trusting God (Even When Life Hurts)**. Trust me. You won’t regret getting the study guide. I still have mine all these years later. It’s pages are where the rubber met the road for me.

If you're looking for purpose and redemption in your brokenness, the book is for you. The subtitle says it all - How God Redeems Pain & Suffering. — If you’re looking for purpose and redemption in your brokenness, this book is for you. The subtitle says it all – How God Redeems Pain & Suffering.

Part of the Revive Our Hearts Series, this book is a popular shelf item in church libraries. I recommend checking yours.